Recently, I saw an episode of Battle of the Bods yesterday. Don’t get me wrong but I understand this show is simply for entertainment.
However, there was one female contestant who made me wonder about women and their mentality, in general. This female contestant was ranked #5 (or the lowest) for her overall facial looks and body by 3 male judges (bodybuilders). In other words, she wasn’t very attractive.
Finally, she took her lowest rank in a very personal matter on tv and said, “I am Playboy’s finest. I don’t need these male bodybuilders (judges) who can’t AFFORD me. These bodybuilders (judges) are just poor. Any rich, classy man can afford me like a doctor, lawyer, or executive.”
What interests me is not her negative biased attitude (due to negative personal experiences in her case) but the way she feels about her ‘beauty’ and what she expects in men. In other words, if you’re very very pretty, you think you deserve a RICH/wealthy man. If you’re very very unattractive, you think you deserve a poor quality man but will do your best to ‘be beautiful’ so you can date a higher quality man.
Well?
yes they do my sis told me
way to be stereotypical.
Everyone tells me I’m way out of my boyfriend’s league on the look scale, but i love him to death. AND he doesnt have money.
kill him
Then she knows that she isn’t so attractive, but who wants to admit that they are ugly?? I know this up-front because my arms are hairy and people call me things and say stuff but you don’t want to feel ugly and unwanted.
I’m not very beautiful, just “cute,” but I’m a very smart person and I think I deserve the man that I’m in love with. He is rather attractive, but also he is a very smart man and I love him for his whole self including his brains and his looks. He also has a great personality, which I love so much.
You’re talking about really sad and shallow women. Sure, they do exist, but honestly most women aren’t like that. In most cases men get a very fair deal from women in terms of who looks better. What I mean is that it is not at all uncommon for women to date men who are less attractive than they are. In general I think women are far less obsessed with the looks of their partner than men are.
There are super shallow women who use their looks to attract rich men. There are also super shallow men who use their money to date beautiful women. These people deserve each other. Let them have each other.
The rest of us will look for love and will hopefully find it by not obsessing about looks or money.
BTW if she was a Playboy model she wasn’t as ugly as you say. They don’t put ugly women in Playboy.
i don’t rank men worthy or unworthy of me! i don’t care if they’re dirt poor or filthy rich!
In my opinion, I don’t find myself very attractive, therefore I don’t expect a rich man at all. I don’t think looks have to do with that though. I just don’t think I could stand a man that has a lot of money just because of the way they act in general. It’s a difficult situation and it depends on the person I guess.
i think maybe that girl was unattractive, and has a high self esteem. i think she might think of her self too much. i dont think all girls lye to themselves like that
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Do Women With Low Self-Esteem Use Appearance to
Feel Better?
Josée L. Jarry, Ph. D. , Amy Kossert, Karen Ip. , B. A.
Body-image refers to one’s feelings, attitudes, and perceptions towards one’s body and
physical appearance. It is an important consideration in the development of eating
disorders because it has been shown that disturbances in body-image increase the risk of
dieting and bulimia.
This article will explore how body-image and self-esteem may intersect for women.
What is body-image?
• Body-image is thought to be composed of four different attitudes and behaviours.
• Body-image satisfaction refers to how satisfied one is with one’s body-image
appearance.
• Body-image investment refers to the importance one places on body-image
physical appearance in defining one’s self and determining self-worth.
• Body-image behaviour refers to appearance related behaviours such as grooming,
concealing, and avoiding the sight of one’s body.
• Body-image perception relates to how accurately one estimates one’s own body
size.
Difficulties in some or all of these areas are regarded as disturbances in body-image.
Such disturbances can include dissatisfaction with appearance, over-reliance on
appearance to define the self, excessive appearance management behaviour such as overgrooming
and frequent mirror checking, or the over-estimation or under-estimation of
body size.
The importance of body-image investment
Body-image dissatisfaction and over-reliance on appearance as a source of self-esteem,
impair the quality of life of most women, and are key diagnostic criteria for eating
disorders.
Although factors causing body-image dissatisfaction are relatively well understood, little
is known about why a woman would choose to invest in her appearance to improve her
self-worth. This question is important because body-image investment may be a critical
factor in determining whether dissatisfaction with one’s body will lead to dieting and
eating disorders.
Here’s an example: A particular individual may be unhappy with her weight and think
National Eating Disorder Information Centre ~ 200 Elizabeth St. 7ES-421, Toronto. ON. M5G 2C4 www. nedic. ca
that she could benefit from losing a few pounds. However, if she places more emphasis
on her academic accomplishments rather than on her physical appearance as a source of
self-esteem, it is unlikely that she would ever be motivated enough to engage in
disordered eating behaviours.
Another individual with exactly the same degree of dissatisfaction with her weight who
considers her weight and physical appearance to be instrumentally important in defining
her self-concept, may be more likely to engage in dieting or other eating disordered
behaviours.
As can be seen from this example, body dissatisfaction alone may not lead to the
development of eating disordered behaviours. Instead, it is the degree of investment that
an individual has in her appearance that may be the critical determining factor.
Testing the link between body-image investment and
disordered eating
Clinicians and theorists have suggested that women with low self-esteem invest great
importance on their body-image as a source of self-worth. However, a causal link
between low self-esteem and high body-image investment has never been demonstrated
in the laboratory. Therefore, in our laboratory, we are currently embarking on a series of
studies to demonstrate the existence of this causal link. Past studies have shown that
when people experience an attack on a specific area of their self-esteem, they compensate
by emphasizing an unrelated and positive aspect of the self. This allows them to maintain
a global sense of self-worth. For example, being told that one is untalented may result in
emphasizing one’s kindness. This is how threats to one’s self-esteem lead to an
investment in one’s body-image. Women who have had their self-esteem extensively
threatened by negative feedback about their abilities in a variety of domains will attempt
to maintain their sense of self-worth by, for instance, focussing on appearance as a
source of mastery and competence.
Why do women turn to their appearance to restore their feelings of self-worth when their
self-esteem is threatened? A number of personal qualities could be used as sources of
self-esteem. However, the pervasiveness of thin models in the media, linking thinness to
beauty and a desirable lifestyle, offers thinness and beauty as a desirable and seemingly
easier-to-achieve route to self-esteem than mastery in other self-esteem domains, such as
professional or interpersonal competence.
In our studies we will test the prediction that women experiencing a self-esteem threat
unrelated to appearance (in particular, a threat to their intellectual abilities) will
emphasize body-image as a source of self-worth if they subsequently view images of thin
models. In the real world, this situation may be evident when an individual perf
i think that every girl deserves a guy who will love her no matter how pretty/unattractive she is,, they’ll just love her for who she is. . . .
and honestly any girl who thought that she wouldn’t be wanted who be very upset, thats just girls, we are extremely emotional.
i honestly dont think that its the looks that matter i think that is if u love that person or not and their personality that REALLY matters
Hm interesting well i think that some women will do anything to make them feel better or pretty or even sexy but what they find attractive might not be attractive to men. If you watch the show tough love you would understand that a male perspective is very important. this woman must have either been hurt or just got caught of knowing that she knows shes not that attractive or so to speak just ugly. A male will show no mercy on a woman if he feels that she is unattractive. Some woman who are beautiful think they do deserve a the best a man has to offer but its not always like that. Judging from what ive seen, and im very young, ive seen woman go through things with men that are well just not so lady like. A woman who is unattractive and as well attractive can date a man wealthy or poor depending on their heart.
well i dont think that way at all. but yes there are some woman out there that are VERY insecure and by them saying things like “he cant afford me” or “i am playboys finest” is just a way to try to make herself feel better and to try to convince everyone else that thats how good she is even tho she thinks otherwise. me i think im decent looking and i aint insecure so if someone told me i wasnt that pretty id respect that and not say anything only because i comfortable with myself and not insecure. . get it. ??
we deserve the person we’re meant 2 b w/ ;P i personally don’t need 2 lie 2 myself, ask anybody at my scool.
2 me, it doesn’t matter who i date (moneywise) as long as i’m happy w/ him and he likes me 2
well i thinks you realized by now, females are extremely complex. every single one of us is insecure about something. no one in safe from insecurities.
BUT some girls handle it better than others. and lying to yourself is NOT a good way to handle it. girls who are more confident and sure will get over and and just admit that she has a problem.
obviously, this girl is extremely insecure. she thinks that telling herself and others that she is the most beautiful girl ever will trick people into thinking she is exactly that.
in other words, yes. many girls do lie to themselves, but those girls are very unhappy.
but just because i might be beautiful doesn’t mean i deserve a beautiful man, and vice versa. which is a very stereotypical thing to think. i believe anyone who actually deserves love bases that love on who that special person is. not looks, money, or how good they are in bed.
just because a girl is pretty that doesn’t mean she deserves a rich man
and just because you’re unattractive does mean you can’t get a good guy
attractive people are not better
I’m not looking to marry like a rich guy or have expectations of that sort even though I’m pretty
I mean I want to get married and stuff but I want the guy to be educated and smart, kind he doesn’t have to be like rich ( but you know I just don’t want him to be lazy and stay at home all day while I do all the work)
and most people are attractive if they tried
that girl ( the one from the show) is mad about being ranked so lowly and that’s why she said those stuff about the bodybuilders
wtf is with the ranking in this tv show
we all have our own beauty
I do hope you don’t think ALL or even MOST women are like that. . .
It is honestly sad and embarassing for me as a girl to have such bad examples of what being a lady is out there. . . . first off you have to understand. . . that girl was NOT a lady. She somewhere along the line got her self esteem from being told she was hot/beautiful. Whether she learned that through family/friends or developed that on her own, who knows. This was a huge blow to her self esteem, so I guess she went on the defensive. . . she may really not be that pretty but always wanted to be pretty so she views a certain paradigm as ideal. . . what I gather from that is she’s into Playboy, who despite what a lot of men say AREN’T classy in the least (I’m not saying I look down on them at all and I don’t think Playboy is wrong, but come on, how classy is a lady who is making her living by showing off her fake boobs and body to the world to get acclaim and money) so clearly to her somewhere along the line she associated money and beauty going together. . .
Plus it depends on how you as a lady view money. I’m 21, in college living in a crappy apartment with my boyfriend of 4 years, and I’m completely happy. I don’t associate money with being better, in fact from personal experience I think rich people can be really rude and snobby! Certainly having more money can’t REALLY make you better than someone, can it? If you think so then that is how you get girls like the one mentioned above. But there are plenty of girls who have dreams and desires and want to make a life time goal of achieiving them and who truly enjoy surrounding themselves with people they love because of who they are, not their status in life.
Plus come on! You were watching a show where women were wanting to be ranked in order of prettiness. . . what kind of a lame chick does that?
Personally, I think the pretty girls would liek a normal guy. But the stuck up beautys are. . . stuck up. DUh.
Why are you making all of these assumptions and judgements based on looks. One day you will grow up and realize that when people fall in love, it isn’t due to their looks. Money and wealth don’t matter either.
I saw that episode also and she was very rude and wasn’t cooperative with the game. From what I saw this woman was feeling pure rejection after the second round when she found out that her looks were not up to part by those guys yet I commend her for even coming on the show. Her body made be pleasing to others especially by men on the net but obviously not in reality. This woman was lying to herself to feel that every man should want her. Not every woman is like this woman but do have a high self esteem by labeling themselves as she did and exploiting themselves on a nation wide TV Show. Women like that do not deserve a quality man. Her inner self out-shined her true beauty on the outside, in order words, she was uglyyy!
Yes, it’s true. We rate women on a scale of 1 to 10 for a reason. It’s not just to rank her aesthetic quality, but her self-esteem as well. Women are very conscious of their rank because they constantly compare themselves to other women and attempt to assimilate.
To compare, I’ll demonstrate different female dating mentalities:
A lower-ranked woman has low self-esteem therefore usually goes out with jerks or low-lifes who abuse her. Yet somehow, she always remains emotionally attached because she sees that person as relatively higher value than herself and couldn’t imagine being acceptable to anyone else.
A higher-ranked woman always gets attention and loves it. She knows exactly where she is on the scale and knows how to manipulate men with her sexuality. But she doesn’t take rejection very well because she’s adapted to being treated like a queen. She only settles for the best usually (people who have the balls to reject her, since obviously that person would be too good for her).